Recently a friend sent out one of those gawker-style lists calculated to encourage maximum sharing and reposting: The 26 Happiest Animals In The World. It’s full of aww and squee, but one thing stood out- It’s absolutely devoid of invertebrates! How can that be, when invertebrates are the most numerous, most diverse, and clearly the happiest organisms on this planet? Well the answer is because they have their own list. And here it is.
The 27 Happiest Invertebrates In The World
Here are some ridiculously happy invertebrates who have clearly figured something out that they will hopefully share with the rest of us when they are done laying eggs in our laundry or whatever.
1. This Jumping Spider
Secret To Happiness: Wins hands-down for the most insane mating display ever.
Favorite Thing: Surviving mating.
2. This Tardigrade
Secret To Happiness: Slowly taking things as they come.
Favorite Thing: Being absolutely indestructible.
3. This Mantis
Secret To Happiness: Not afraid to strut her stuff for the opposite sex.
Favorite Thing: Consuming the opposite sex.
4. This Snail
Secret To Happiness: Has a stick.
Favorite Thing: Stick.
5. This Fungus Gnat
Secret To Happiness: Glowing like a star on a comfy hammock made of slime.
Favorite Thing: Being a top New Zealand Tourist Attraction.
6. This Happy-Face Spider
Secret To Happiness: Having a great big happy face emblazoned on her ass.
Favorite Thing: Living in Hawaii year-round.
7. This Dragonfly
Secret To Happiness: Flying to and fro in the warm sun over sparkling rivers.
Favorite Thing: The Clean Water Act.
8. This Pill Bug
Secret To Happiness: Rolling up into a ball whenever life gets tough.
Favorite Thing: Not having to return to the sea to lay eggs.
9. This Japanese Beetle
Secret To Happiness: Stopping to smell the roses. Then eating them.
Favorite Thing: Launching self into street-lamps.
10. This Imperial Cicada
Secret To Happiness: Of all cicadas, singing it loudest and proudest.
Favorite Thing: Plant sap.
11. This Deer Tick
Secret To Happiness: Living life to its fullest.
Favorite Thing: Puppies, and you.
12. This Argentine Ant Supercolony
Secret To Happiness: Ability to colonize every continent except Antarctica.
Favorite Thing: Antarctica’s getting warmer by the minute.
13. This Arrow Worm
Secret To Happiness: Keeping trim on a diet of planktonic copepods.
Favorite Thing: Styling its facial hair every morning.
14. This Acorn Weevil
Secret To Happiness: Dancing on a nut like she’s on top of the world!
Favorite Thing: Ovipositing.
15. This Moth
Secret To Happiness: Knows that being hairy isn’t scary.
Favorite Thing: Toasting each evening with a glass of fermented nectar.
16. This Mantis Shrimp
Secret To Happiness: Wearing the punchiest fashions while throwing fast punches.
Favorite Thing: Seeing better than you can.
17. This Antlion
Secret To Happiness: Giving his all to his fans, every day.
Favorite Thing: Wiggling his elegant palps for the audience.
18. This Parasitic Wasp
Secret To Happiness: An unshakeable belief that we are on this planet to help others.
Favorite Thing: Sleeping in late.
19. This Bdellid Rotifer
Secret To Happiness: Not needing a man for 30 million years.
Favorite Thing: Spinning and Spinning and Spinning.
20. Pelagic Sea Slug
Secret To Happiness: Flamboyantly dancing through life.
Favorite Thing: Eating jellyfish and incorporating their nematocysts.
21. This Leafcutter Ant
Secret To Happiness: Living with 8 million organic vegetarian farmers.
Favorite Thing: Promenading with a parasol.
22. This Sea Cucumber
Secret To Happiness: Told by naysayers that sea cucumbers are benthic, but won’t hear of it- It’s time to swim!
Favorite Thing: Expelling its digestive tract onto naysayers.
23. This Baby Cuttlefish
Secret To Happiness: Facing the world with optimism, anticipation, and skin that can change color to match every single float at Mardi Gras.
Favorite Thing: Surprises.
24. This Giant Tube Worm Colony
Secret To Happiness: Living life on the edge.
Favorite Thing: Has secret crush on the deep-sea submersible Alvin.
25. This Centipede
Secret To Happiness: Grabbing life by the forcipules and not letting go until it stops struggling so dang much.
Favorite Thing: Being a mom.
26. This Cassiopeia Jellyfish
Secret To Happiness: Standing the world on its head.
Favorite Thing: Making its own food.
27. These Lord Howe Island Stick Insects
Secret To Happiness: Living for each other no matter what the odds.
Favorite Thing: Not being extinct.